Attachment

The Monk and the Nun, Cornelius Van Haarlem

The monk shaved his head as a symbol of renunciation.
But now he goes nowhere without his little cap.

It’s funny to see someone who says that he is a renunciate call childishly for his few meager possessions. Why renounce the world when you really cannot? Before you cut your hair, ask yourself if you can afford to give up your attachments. Before you give up your freedom, ask yourself if you can submit to monastic order. Before you say that you are spiritual, ask yourself if you can give up worldly desires.

I am not trying to make fun of monks here. I am observing that every path in life has its own sacrifices and its own hardships. Before you embark on a path, search yourself thoroughly and investigate the path completely. Then you will dispel misgivings. You will also reduce the chance of hypocrisy.

Whoever you are, live your life completely. If you are a plumber, be the best plumber. If you are a saint, be the best saint. If you are common, be common. If you are extraordinary, be extraordinary. People only err when they try to be who they are not.

Deng Ming Tao, 365 Tao

“Attachment to spiritual things is.. just as much an attachment as inordinate love of anything else.”
— Beverly Sills

I’m always rather suspicious of religions that call for us to give up our attachments to the real world. If there is anything that we ought to give up our attachment to, it’s the idea that there is something more important than the real world, since the real world is what in fact actually created us, and we certainly wouldn’t be here without it. I’m equally suspicious of religions that call for us to give up sex, for much the same reason. If you can’t embrace your sexuality, whatever form it takes, and you can’t embrace the real world, there is little reason left to be around.

Sure, it’s not a good idea to get so attached to something that it becomes an addiction or sickness, or to get attached too much to our material possessions, since then they become more important than our relationships to others and to our spirituality. But being too attached to spirituality is just as bad as being too attached to anything else. I had a lot of difficulty as a kid with my mom giving toys I still liked to the church, and I really resented it. She also would rarely come and visit after I moved away, because she didn’t want to miss her church activities, even though she would travel for church-related meetings. I don’t think spirituality should be a cause of resentment, either for yourself or those around you. If spirituality is truly the only thing that is important to you, then sure go be a monk or nun or priest or whatever – but then, don’t be hypocritical about it.