Alternate between the solitary and the social.
Whether alone or with others, keep serenity.Some people argue that Tao can be known only through bitter asceticism. Others prefer massive congregations. But those who follow Tao are neither too solitary nor too gregarious. They have regular times of privacy. And they equally enjoy being with others.
Privacy is good. But an overly monastic life can lead to unhappiness, delusion, and even insanity. In the same way, relationships are good. But too much social intercourse can lead to conformity, conflict, and stress. Therefore, the way of Tao aims to maximize the good and minimize the bad.
We should have regular times to be alone, meditate alone, even sleep alone. This gives us clarity. Then we can bring this understanding to our relationships. Friendships will be all the more wonderful. Once we understand moderation, we move between the solitary and the social without any mistake.
“The man who makes everything that leads to happiness depend upon himself, and not upon other men, has adopted the very best plan for living happily. This is the man of moderation, the man of manly character and of wisdom.” — Plato
“The heart is great which shows moderation in the midst of prosperity.”
— Seneca
“Out of moderation a pure happiness springs.”
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“Moderation, which consists in an indifference about little things, and in a prudent and well-proportioned zeal about things of importance, can proceed from nothing but true knowledge, which has its foundation in self-acquaintance.” — Plato
“Be moderate in everything, including moderation”
— Horace Porter
Be moderate in order to taste the joys of life in abundance. ~Epicurus
In our younger days, we were subscribers to what we dubbed Perrine’s Law of Exhaustive Enjoyment: “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.” Once we had kids, we were quickly dissuaded of that notion. Sleep became a prime form of entertainment. These days, we’re pretty moderate in our activities, in our style of living, and in our spending. It’s nice not to be in debt, exhausted, and overworked!
I spend a fair amount of my time by myself, in meditation, and so forth. I really enjoy it when I get together with friends these days. And I suppose I don’t make as many mistakes moving between the too as I used to. I no longer obsess about other people, or try to run their lives for them like I used to do. I am more than happy to live my life and let others live theirs.
No Responses