Self-sufficiency

The Great Wall,1998, by Limin Jiang Huang

Be self-sufficient but not isolated.
When the king of China closed the borders,
Centuries of stagnation and decadence began.

All the philosophy of Tao is intended to lead to self-sufficiency. Whatever one needs to do in life, one should be able to do on one’s own. Whether one is trapped in the wilderness or whether one is dealing with a social gathering requiring etiquette and grace, one should be able to cope with aplomb and ease.

Being self-sufficient is not the same as being isolated. This is a very important point. When the king of China closed the borders, the country was self-sufficient enough to enjoy the isolation very well. The entire nation withdrew into a magic contentment. But eventually an inbred society developed. Stagnation and decay set in.

The same problems can arise in people who are so self-sufficient that they fail to engage life fully. Either they will implode from the sheer weight of their own decadence and stagnation, or they will explode once the outside world confronts them with something they cannot comprehend.

Those who follow Tao roam the world. They may avail themselves of the temporary advantages of withdrawal and intense self-cultivation, but they do not become permanently isolated. They flow with the Tao, are with all things, and therefore avoid decadence.
Deng Ming Tao, 365 Tao

“Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient” — Aristotle

“If you will discipline yourself to make your mind self-sufficient you will thereby be least vulnerable to injury from the outside.”
— Critias of Athens

“Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being.” — Mahatma Gandhi

“The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.” — Quentin Crisp

“Let’s face it. In most of life we really are interdependent. We need each other. Staunch independence is an illusion, but heavy dependence isn’t healthy, either. The only position of long-term strength is interdependence: win/win.” — Greg Anderson

“In the progress of personality, first comes a declaration of independence, then a recognition of interdependence.”
— Henry Van Dyke

“Solitude vivifies; isolation kills” — Joseph Roux

“Life’s errors cry for the merciful beauty that can modulate their isolation into a harmony with the whole.” — Rabindranath Tagore

I’m very self-sufficient, and really have to be careful not to isolate myself. But I know the difference between self-sufficiency, which feels really good to me, and isolation, which feels intensely wrong. I went through a period of feeling isolated, when I had to be with someone else in order to even feel ok. That was a very uncomfortable feeling I hope I never experience again.

Perhaps that’s why now I enjoy my self-sufficiency so much. I like that I don’t need to have someone else around me to make me feel complete, that I no longer long for a particular person and desire them so much that I end up screwing up my life and relationships. It’s really good to be free of all that. But when others need me, I try really hard to be there for them, because I understand what that denial and rejection can feel like. Gandhi was right – interdependence is the ideal. We need to be there for others, and sometimes, we need others there for us. Building great walls doesn’t just keep others out- it also locks you inside.