It's My Birthday, Too, Yeah!

Judith Jaffe, Happy Birthday

So hubby gets me this card…

The Birthday Rules

1. The female always makes the rules
2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules. Nearly all females are born with this knowledge.
4. If the female suspects the male know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.
7. The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
8. The female may change her mind at any time.
9. The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. On birthdays, the female doesn’t get older, she just keeps getting better and better and better…

So, of course I went on the net and found additional rules…

12. The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.
13. The male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.
15. If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.
16. The female is ready when she is ready.
17. The male must be ready at all times.
18. The male who doesn’t abide by the rules can’t take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

Guess hubby didn’t know about rule 14….

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents … and only one for birthday presents, you know.
Lewis Carroll

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis

Those whom the gods love grow young. – Oscar Wilde

At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage. – John Andrew Holmes