Melody Johnson, A Triumph of Tulips, art quilt
Crawl to begin.
Triumph to complete.
Renounce to leave.
What is the anatomy of any phase of life? First comes a learning stage full of awkward struggle for mastery. Then comes a phase of testing yourself in competition. Finally, there is gracious retirement from the field, for constant competition is not a lasting way of life.
Competition is always a thorny problem. True, it challenges you to be your very best. Cultivating skill without using it is like learning a foreign language and never leaving your house. If we think of winning in the narrow sense of vanquishing others, we fall into a dangerous egotism. Winning can be thought of as attainment. For example, if you learn to swim, that is winning over your own ignorance and sloth. If you enter into a meet and win, then that is winning not over others, but achieving your personal best. The other competitors are secondary; it is more important that you know where you stand, that you consolidate your position, and that you look for further achievement. That is true triumph.
Triumph in the right amounts is the greatest tonic to the soul. Triumph carried to extremes corrodes the soul. Once you have had your share of triumphs, know when to get out. Once you have gained the top, renounce competition. Then start over. That is the secret of moving from phase to phase in life.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
“The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.” — Voltaire
“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes … I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.” — Virginia Satir
“Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity.”
— Og Mandino
“Only those who truly love and who are truly strong can sustain their lives as a dream. You dwell in your own enchantment. Life throws stones at you, but your love and your dream change those stones into the flowers of discovery. Even if you lose, or are defeated by things, your triumph will always be exemplary. And if no one knows it, then there are places that do. People like you enrich the dreams of the worlds, and it is dreams that create history. People like you are unknowing transformers of things, protected by your own fairy-tale, by love.”
— Ben Okri
“That which causes us trials shall yield us triumph: and that which make our hearts ache shall fill us with gladness. The only true happiness is to learn, to advance, and to improve: which could not happen unless we had commenced with error, ignorance, and imperfection. We must pass through the darkness, to reach the light.” — Albert Pike
“For man, as for flower and beast and bird, the supreme triumph is to be most vividly, most perfectly alive.” — D.H. Lawrence
“It always amazes me to think that every house on every street is full of so many stories; so many triumphs and tragedies, and all we see are yards and driveways.”
— Glenn Close
Personal triumph is a very different matter than public triumph. What matters most to us individually may seem small to someone else, and yet, it may be a great triumph for us to accomplish something that seems trivial to others. Watching your child walk for the first time, observing their milestones as they grow, these things are triumphs. I was talking to my son yesterday and complimenting him on being such a good kid, and he said, “I don’t think you could have raised a bad kid, mom.” That felt really good, to think he had that kind of faith in me. But, the secret is, it was because I always had faith in my kids, that they would turn out well. I never assumed they were “bad” because they did something wrong; I let them learn and make their mistakes (and still do). Children need to have the freedom to try things and know they will be loved no matter what happens.
So that was my triumph for yesterday. Today? Who knows.
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[…] I come to the mat, the whole world is a place to confirm my low self-esteem. I come to the mat to strive, to control, to win. Coming to the mat to win, I lose. What if I came to the mat to grow, to learn, […]