And oh, boy, is my brother a grandfather…..
The Pueblo Chieftain Online – Pueblo, Colorado U.S.A
MONDAY MORNING SPECIAL
RATED:BABY
Bright And Bubbly You
Welcome to the world, GRANDSON
Dear Evan,
Well, grandson, you finally got here. Missed the State Fair by a day, but there’s always next year.
Your mother (She Who Must Be Obeyed Jr. II) brought you into the world and you were none too happy. You came in with a head of flaming red hair, kicking and screaming so much that they had to put the hospital in lock-down. Or was that just another fire drill?
Being She Jr. II’s first child, and quite possibly the most handsome baby ever born, you will probably get a lot of attention. That’s OK, sometimes it will seem like the world is picking on you, like when they put your mug shot in the newspaper and you aren’t even 2 weeks old. But you’re tough. Daddy is a U.S. Marine, after all.
* * *
There also will be a lot of “firsts” recorded during your first year of life. After that, your Baby Book will probably look like everyone else’s – one sentence per year, if you’re lucky (Age 2: Learning to ride trike; Age 3: Rode his tricycle over mom’s foot; Age 4: Got tricycle back.) You’ll fondly remember your first toy (cardboard box). When you get to be Grandpa’s age, you’ll read over the list of firsts and try to recapture the joy of youth and innocence.
If you have a little grandson to help you do that, it will be a whole lot easier.
My first words to you, I believe, were: “Stop acting like such a baby.”
You replied: “Wa-a-a-h-h-h!”
That’s probably how it will be with us, for a while. Your good looks and winning personality may sway other people and ease your path in life. But you’ll find Grandpa’s a tough customer. Well, OK, I’d spoil you rotten no matter what. But the point is, if you keep crying like that, I’ll . . . Oh, wait. You seem to have fallen asleep again. How cute!
* * *
Now, I’ve started a little project. I’ve decided to take a photo of you every day (actually, about a dozen, but I’m talking about only the best ones) and collect them all. Later, we’ll publish them in one of those “Year in the Life” photo books.
We’ll use the money to send you to college.
I know this will be a best-seller, because in the first few days people have just flocked to see your baby photos. They say things like:
“What a cute baby!”
“Look how red his hair is!”
“Woodka, you showed me those same photos just an hour ago!”
Please don’t tell She Jr. II of our little plan, she’ll think I’m exploiting you and probably take my camera away. . . . Hey! Bring back that back!
* * *
Finally, a lot of grandpas would try to warn you about the state of the world right now. There is a war going on, a hurricane just destroyed one of America’s cities and the country is still trying to recover from the 9/11 terrorist attacks four years ago.
But I’m not going to try to scare you or put the burden of trying to make the world a peaceful place on your tiny shoulders.
There is trouble in every age. For instance, when I was a youth, the Huns had just sacked Rome, the Black Plague was destroying entire villages and the Spanish Inquisition had just begun.
Did I mention that Grandpa sometimes tells tall tales?
* * *
Enjoy your life, Evan, there is a world of possibility ahead for you. You are a blessing to our family. Welcome to the world.
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