Stress

Job pressures are overwhelming.
Responsibilities are heavy.
When I close my eyes,
The demands of others are all I see.

Sometimes responsibilities can become so great that you cannot keep your mental equilibrium. Your attention is scattered. Feelings of frustration lead to tremendous unhappiness. Your insides ache. You don’t get enough sleep, you eat poorly, and you quarrel with others.

The sages may breezily pronounce all of this to be the folly of humanity. They are undoubtedly right, but the words of the sages are too lofty when we are scrounging in the dust for our survival. Many of us must face these pressures, at least for the moment. Even if we would like a way out of this madness, we will not be able to forsake society all at once.

When one is under stress, awareness of Tao is impossible. If you are fighting on the battlefield, or fighting in the office, or fighting in your home, or fighting in your mind, there is no such thing as being with Tao. If you are involved in this type of life, then you must content yourself to face your problems bravely — until you can do nothing other than renounce it.

Every moment that you are with your problems, you are not with Tao. The best you can do is to remember that our stress is not absolute reality.

Deng Ming Tao, 365 Tao

“Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.”
~ Lily Tomlin

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. ~Bertrand Russell

The field of consciousness is tiny. It accepts only one problem at a time. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

In times of life crisis, whether wild fires or smoldering stress, the first thing I do is go back to basics… am I eating right, am I getting enough sleep, am I getting some physical and mental exercise everyday. ~ Edward Albert

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it. ~ George Burns

Any idiot can face a crisis – it’s day to day living that wears you out.
~ Anton Chekhov

I keep my life fairly stress-free these days. Not that there aren’t things I coulld stress over, there are plenty, but I know that stress triggers some very bad reactions in me. Tao is one of the ways I deal with stress, yoga and pilates are others. I just started playing tennis with a friend, and am truly bad at it so far. But doing something I’m lousy at just for fun actually amuses me. Or I will take a long walk when I’m stressed and reconnect to the world. Or garden. Or work on my art.

When I am truly stressed, and particularly when I’m angry about something, I clean. If you ever find my house truly spotless, watch out, because I’m probably in a very bad mood. Cleaning is one of those mindless tasks that I can get absorbed in when I’m mad.

Pets are important for me in keeping stress down. You can’t stay stressed when there are two ridiculous looking golden retrievers sprawled on their backs in the yard, or when a small grey cat or fuzzy black one curls up in your lap purring (like right now). Except when she digs her claws in, of course…

I don’t really care for most of the advice on “managing” stress, though. I don’t think stress is there to be managed. It is a way for the body to tell you you’re literally putting too much stress on it, and you need to stop. Of course it isn’t always possible to create downtime when you most need it, but when you get it, use it. We tend to rush around from one activity to another and not take time to just unwind and relax when we can. Stop overscheduling the kids and let them read a book instead. Stop overscheduling yourself and realize life can go on a few moments without you worrying about it.

And mostly, stop fighting. Try that phrase “you are right“. It shuts people up so fast, it’s amazing. Everyone is right in whatever way they have justified to themselves. It doesn’t mean you have agreed with them, only that you’ve acknowledged that they are right – in their mind. But they don’t have to know that.

Truthful words are not beautiful.
Beautiful words are not truthful.
Good men do not argue.
Those who argue are not good.
Those who know are not learned.
The learned do not know.

The sage never tries to store things up.
The more she does for others, the more she has.
The more she gives to others, ther greater her abundance.
The Tao of heaven is pointed but does no harm.
The Tao of the sage is work without effort.

Tao Te Ching, 81