Meme me me me ….

Onanism Today tagged me with this most excellent meme, and as I just got back in from Tucson and am fairly tired with nothing better to do, it seems like something I can handle this evening. I don’t normally do these things, ya know…

Anyway, so here’s the questions:

1. What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?

Easy. Lost three of my best friends through various stupid maneuvers. In spite of being a married woman, I fell in love with two of my male friends in separate incidents several years apart, and managed to turn what I felt towards them into an obsession. This of course created many problems with each of them and eventually managed to screw things up so badly neither one would speak to me.

The loss of my best girlfriend was a fallout from one of these stupid love interests, indirectly, but that loss was probably actually the most shattering. Losing a guy from my life I could handle, after all, my husband stood by me through these traumatic episodes, bless him. But the girlfriend, well, girlfriends are special and irreplacable, it seems. I still don’t have another really close female friend in my life even now.

The root of all this drama was undiagnosed bipolar disorder, but it hardly matters to explain such things to the people you’ve hurt and who have hurt you in return. I’ve learned these type of episodes are pretty common in bipolar lives. Sad, but there is a lot of undiagnosed chemical brain disorder out there. I thank goodness for lamictal, which I had to talk my shrink into giving me. I think it’s a wonder drug for bipolar – I have two other bipolar friends who are on it as well, and none of us has any recent episodes. Great stuff.

Anyway, on to :

2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

That would be my wonderful hubby who has stuck by me through everything. He’s a sweetie…

3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?

Thomas Jefferson would always be my first choice. My father, who I still miss terribly. Margaret Mead. Rumi. Rainer Maria Rilke.

4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

To have a real media and press corps in this country that would do their jobs.

To have a national health care system so no one would have to worry about family members without health care coverage.

To have people in this country be able to openly and honestly discuss real issues without the distortions of those who want to divide us and fill our heads with stupidity.

5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

I regret that San Diego doesn’t have any money and doesn’t have an honest city council headed up by mayor Donna Frye. I regret that our congresscreatures are total scum sucking maggots who care more about their pocketbooks that making sure the National Guard families have health care coverage and that our defense dollars are spent for things that do us some good instead of lining their buddies’ pockets.

People visiting San Diego should avoid moving here and adding to our housing problem. They should avoid Sea World and visit the Wild Animal Park instead. Sea World is a fake show and a farce, the Wild Animal Park is real animals in natural settings. And the lion cub exhibit is amazing.

6. Name one event that has changed your life.

My father’s death. It shattered my life and rearranged all the pieces. Before then, I thought a lot about career and resented being home with my kids. Afterwards, I realized family is the most precious thing in the world. And that means however you define your family, of course. Losing a loved one is always traumatic, but losing my dad meant the world no longer had any solid foundations for me. It took a lot of therapy to get through that. I still get sad this time of year around when he died 11 year ago, and even while I enjoyed visiting with my husband’s family this weekend, I think there was this underlying resentment that his family was still around to enjoy and mine was not. But of course, the traces of my mom and dad are around, in me, in my brother and sister and our children. I pulled out an old picture of my dad and I see the resemblance to my younger son. I look in the mirror and see my mother’s mouth, my father’s eyes. And their memory is always with me. But still, I’ll never have dinner with them again without that darn time machine.

7. Tag 5 people.

Not that they’ll respond, but:

1. kristin, to get her to write somethin’.
2. smoop, so kristin can’t tag her. ;^)
3. mac, because she’s just so cool.
4. jillian, cause she’s snarky.
5. pinko feminist hellcat, cause hellcats are neat.