Is my life half over or half started? Sometimes I feel like my life is over, sometimes I feel like I am starting a new one all over again, barely learning to walk much less able to run my life. I feel like I have forgotten how to do everything – how to think of things to do, how to plan, how to act on thoughts and ideas, how to get through my days and fill in the hours that seem so empty in them right now.
I know so much of this is the depression, is the disease, is this chemical imbalance that I’m trying to learn to deal with and somehow get control of, and yet it feels like there is so little I can do. I get assurances I am coping better, doing better, but I fall, and stumble, and sometimes just give up in exhaustion. And get up the next day and do it all over again – learning from scratch once more….