The key, then, to self responsibility is taking 100% ownership of our thoughts, feelings, and actions, while at the same time remembering that we don’t know much for sure.
It is quite immature for adults to stomp their little feetsies, and say, “I don’t understand, I don’t believe it, and I’m not listening to another word!”
Such an odd thing. People are stuck in a pile of shit, and insist that
a) it appeared by magic,
b) they had nothing to do with their being in it,
c) someone else is to blame,
d) someone else should dig them out, and
e) they don’t want to even consider how they got into the pile in the first place (as they place their fingers in their ears, and start humming.)
If I assume that what I know is provisional and incomplete (what Zen calls Beginner’s Mind…) then life actually becomes kind of simple. If I am standing in roses I can enjoy it, then move on. If I am standing in shit, I can extricate myself, and then devise a way to not end up there again.
The Point?
The entire universe is going on right in your head. You are creating everything through the stories you tell, and experiencing everything as you choose to. Your experience, your feelings, your thoughts, all are you — you are choosing out of many, many options, those specific things. If I have Beginner’s Mind, I can start again, and pick some other way.
7 Responses
I do not blame anyone other than myself for the reality of my surroundinds–sure, a few things have happen’d along the way–things which I had absolutely no power over–that have drastically altered the course of my life…but as far as where my head is at this precise moment…well, I suppose I own that.
I have to wonder–if I can blame no one but myself, then, by extension, I should never hqave to thank anyone but myself…for I am truly the master of my reality, it stands to reason that no one other than myself ever does anything for me.
For example–if a friend goes shopping for me, or gives me a ride to the doctors–well, it’s actually me that’s making that happen so there is never any need for me to thank anyone ever—right? It’s all my reality & I control all of it.
Still, it seems I’d be happier in a reality that I didn’t have to make the most of. I mean why would I choose a reality that hurts all the time? I guess I’m just too stupid to see the light….
William, it is not that you create the events that happen, or control what others do to you or for you — it is that what you can control is your reaction to what happens, and what stories you choose to tell yourself about what happens, and that affects your reality and becomes a part of your new reality.
You don’t have to respond angrily if someone does something you don’t like, for instance, and that may change their entire day. Or, if you do respond too harshly, you can apologize for it later on, and make amends.
Friends do favors for us because we respond well or respond in kind, so yes, we do help make that happen. We think of other’s needs because in serving others, we really serve ourselves as well. By seeing yourself in others, you treat them as you want to be treated, and so are treated in turn.
Namaste.
And even in pain, there are lessons to learn — sympathy and empathy for the pain of others, knowing that much of life is suffering. Finding enjoyment even in suffering can be one of the greatest pleasures of life — those things that lift you out of suffering, even for a few moments, you can come to treasure and value, and so know the real values of life itself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brDDzKOcvPA see here for instance….
So, rather than being the master of one’s reality, what you actually mean is one should try to master one’s reaction to one’s reality–it is not reality we are the masters of, as that is physically impossible, instead it is our reaction to our reality that we should strive to master….even going to so great an extreme as to convince oneself that excrutiating physical agony is actually something to be enjoyed…the belief being that ultimately perception is reality. Is it an only through outer misery can one achieve inner peace kinda thing…?
Forgive me, but it seems so naive that I have to wonder if the majority of those that believe that have ever truly been in the grips of the Hellish nightmare of continuous & constant physical agony so intense as to defy description.
I realize that there are Eastern philosophies in which this…or something very similiar to this…has been practiced by it’s mystics for thousands of years, so my musings must seem ill-informed & very narrow minded. I’m sure there have been those that do in fact reach “True Enlightenment”…but certainly those are rare instances which happen to very special individuals, and only after a lifetime spent learning to control one’s reaction to one’s reality.
The foundation of Buddhism is life is suffering and the only way beyond it is through an inner acceptance and then transcendence, yes. Myself I think the answer to physical pain is very good drugs, although some find relief from things like biofeedback, acupuncture, meditation, or whatever.
I don’t think you have to be special to attain enlightenment. Or rather, “there is nothing to attain”. Enlightenment is not some amazing state of being, it is finding peace with your situation and wonder in the ordinary and everyday.