Cooperation with others,
Perception, experience, tenacity.
Know when to lead and when to follow.
When we become involved with a fellowship, we must gradually become an integral, organic part of that organization. The relationship will be one of mutual influence: We must carefully influence the collective, and in turn, we will be shaped by the company we keep.
Influencing others requires perception. We need to know when to act, when to be passive, when others are receptive to us, and when they will not listen. This takes experience, of course, and it is necessary to take part in a great many relationships — from our families to community asociations — to cultivate the proper sensitivity. In time, there will be moments of both frustration and success, but in either case, a certain tenacity is crucial. If we are thwarted in our initiatives, then we must persevere by either maintaining our position or changing it if a better one prevails. If we are successful, we must not rely on charisma alone, but we must also work to fully realize what the group has resolved to do.
True leadership is a combination of initiative and humility. The best leader remains obscure, leading but drawing no personal attention. As long as the collective has direction, the leader is satisfied. Credit is not to be taken, it will be awarded when the people realize that it was the subtle influence of the leader that brought them success.
I’m not really much of a leader or follower most of the time. When I’ve been in leadership positions, I think I pretty much followed the Tao advice to gently lead a group towards making decisions but feeling they did it themselves. Sometimes I did get overlooked for that, and others got the recognition, but that was all right. I’m definitely more comfortable as a leader or equal participant than as a follower. I can be persuaded, but if I know I’m right about something, I will maintain my position and try very hard to persuade others, sometimes too hard. I definitely haven’t always known when others would not listen – or maybe, knew it but plowed ahead anyway in a desperate attempt to save things.
I try very hard not to feel desperate about anything these days. Yet I still have my passions, and I can push too hard at times. Mostly I very much let things run themselves, and try to trust Tao to take care of things more often than not. I’ve had lots of initiative in the past, but right now, not so much. And I’ve had little humility in the past, but now I find myself a lot more humble in life. Perhaps I’m approaching something of the right balance, but at this point, I definitely lack initiative.
Groups are not something I come to easily. I am far more of an individual, and work with groups as I need to, but don’t really seek them out. I tend to see people as individuals rather than as part of a group, and I think it affects how I think of groups. Perhaps I’m too wary of groupthink, or not comfortable with the influence of a group. Or maybe I just don’t want the association of a group. Whatever it is, it’s something I know I need to work on and get over.
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