As my life goes on I believe
Somehow something’s changed
Something deep inside
Ooh a part of me
There’s a strange new light in my eyes
Things I’ve never known
Changin’ my life
Changin’ me
I’ve been searchin’
So long
To find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am
Feeling very free
Life is everything
Ooh it’s meant to be
When my tears have come to an end
I will understand
What I left behind
Part of me…
________________________________
There is a story from ancient India about a musk deer that was born with a scent of musk on his forehead. But he spent his whole life seeking and searching for this wonderful scent that seemed to be somewhere out there just around the next corner, not realizing that the scent was there already as a part of himself. — Ingela Abbott
Even in slumber
I searched for her face,
like someone obsessed,
and when it became clear
I would never succeed,
and I stopped searching,
she appeared
not in glory but without trace,
and I saw my self in her face.
— Jos Slabbert, The Tao is Tao
When we enter into a relationship…we are seeking a connection or, perhaps more accurately, what we feel as a result of this connection: comfort, love, acceptance, peace, joy. What we are seeking and striving for is a quality of connection that is — hopefully — a mutually pleasurable state, a dance of two spirits moving in agreement. Though we may be unable to articulate precisely what we seek, we recognize it when it happens. Simply stated, it feels good when it is right, and it does not feel good when things are wrong. And when it is right, it’s delightfully, incredibly, inexpressibly right. And when it is wrong, it can be terribly, unbearably wrong. What drives us crazy at times is that even when the connection is powerful and good, we may not know just how that moment was achieved or what magical ingredients helped to create it or, sadly, why it just as mysteriously dissolves into the mundane or routine.
Because this kind of profound connection is elusive …we may not understand that it is not a goal or a “thing” but rather a process … the truth is there is no particular formula by which a powerful connection may be summoned or created. In our restless searching through books and videos and seminars, we are asking for the recipe that can help us create what we know exists… We’ve tasted it, or we’ve seen it or perhaps we even just read about it — and we want more. We want a road map to There, because we’ve been there or we know others who have, and we know it’s where we want to go.
None of us deliberately sets out to create a relationship filled with conflict, frustration or disappointment. But the deep connection we seek may be missing…To find what we are seeking, we need to begin at the beginning, examining the foundation on which the entire relationship will turn: the quality of the connection itself.
Each time we interact … we have an opportunity to create an event of quality, or not. Our relationships … are dynamic, responsive to and informed by every choice we make. Each of our actions, whether intentional or inadvertent, will move us in only a few possible directions — away from or toward greater intensity of connection, or we do not move at all and remain still.
If quality is indeed an event, then in every moment, we have a choice. Relationships are not mechanical processes…. Our world is not one of simple cause and effect, but one of dynamic interactions, right down to the cells within our bodies. .. A relationship is also — at its core — a seamless integration of information. By the very act of choosing to be in a relationship — even casually — with another being, we open ourselves to the dynamic process of both putting forth and receiving information.
To fully embrace the idea that quality is a dynamic event that we can choose to create is both a heavy burden of responsibility and one of the greatest of all freedoms… The event of quality is one that we can actively choose, every day. — Suzanne Clothier’s “Bones Would Rain from the Sky” (this is actually a book about dog training, but it is awesome.)
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[…] Donna Woodka recently posted this video and the associated lyrics (following) on her Changing Places blog with one of her wonderful theme posts entitled Searching. […]