Whiskey Bar: Down the River

I’ve gotta agree with Billmon – I haven’t done enough to oppose this administration, this war, the travesties created in America’s name, the abuse of power like the goddamned bill Bush signed this week.

We all ask ourselves what more could we do, and of course, there is more we could do. We all have our comforts we don’t want to give up, and our families to think about, and all that goes with it.

But the answer is not to despair, to wish we had done more. The answer is to keep fighting our fight, to raise the awareness of those around us, and to know in our hearts that Americans can change this, we will turn it around, that we can get off this dark course of American history. We’ve done it before, we’ll do it now. Not today, not tomorrow, but in the next few years. I am saddened and heartbroken every day that so many die. Not only in Iraq, but in Darfur, and the other dark places of the world America has created or ignored. Of course we are downhearted, of course we despair, daily. But. We go on.

Yesterday, I played my music loud, sang my songs of protest and freedom along with the radio, reggae music it was yesterday, and smiled at the little freepers sneering at me with their stupid yellow ribbons on their cars. I’m happier than they are. I’m prouder of myself and my actions than they are. I’m more aware of the world around me and its problems than they are. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is, I annoy the hell out of them, and they don’t know why. They’re figuring it out, but they still don’t know how much they’ve given up of the real American spirit, of the real America they still think they love.

They’re learning, and we are their teachers.

What is a good man?
A teacher of a bad man.
What is a bad man?
A good man’s charge.
If the teacher is not respected,
And the student not cared for,
Confusion will arise, however clever one is.
This is the crux of mystery.

Tao Te Ching, 27

Our students may not respect us, but we must care for them. When they finally get it, we do not say, “I told you so.” We say, “Welcome back to reality. Welcome back from that dark path. Join us, celebrate life with us and not this path of death you supported.”

We cannot change the world all by ourselves. We can only change ourselves, and how we react to the world. Is that enough? no, it never is. But, it’s what we can do.

Whiskey Bar: Down the River

For someone in my shoes, though, hopelessness can become an excuse for not thinking about unpleasant truths. But there was something about Riverbend’s quiet despair that forced me to think hard about my own moral responsibility as an American for a genocide caused by America — because of a war started in my name, paid for with my taxes.

I’ve opposed this war since it was just a malignant smirk on George Bush’s face. I’ve spoken against it, written against it, marched against it, supported and contributed to politicians I generally despise because I thought (wrongly) that they might do something to stop it. It’s why I took up blogging, why I started this blog.

But the question Riverbend has forced me to ask myself is: Did I do enough? And the only honest answer is no.