I want to live somewhere where I can grow a real garden, where the soil isn’t a foot or two of bad topsoil on scraped-off granite.
I want to live someplace where I can have a few acres where I can raise golden retrievers as service dogs and let them run around freely, where land doesn’t cost a fortune. I want to live in a house that is big enough for me to have a “playroom” (since my son says a playroom would be more appropriate for me than a studio) and for my husband and I to have a real office and library.
I want to be surrounded by people who understand concepts like “watershed protection”, “sustainable living”, “permaculture”, “green design”.
I want to live in a country where the need to have cheap oil doesn’t make some people obscenely rich and leave others working several jobs at minimum wage or less, barely making a living, where the cost of a set of cushions to replace the worn-out ones on the patio furniture doesn’t cost more than a whole new set of furniture shipped from China, where the need to have cheap oil isn’t worth starting a war and killing thousands of people.
I want to live in a country that cares enough to provide health care coverage for all its citizens.
I want to live in a country whose rulers aren’t doing everything possible to make the country bankrupt and themselves and their cronies wealthy.
I want friends in my life who care about me, for myself, not for the role I play in their life or what I can do for them. Friends who don’t care who I’ve slept with, who don’t share the latest juicy gossip with me – or about me. People who won’t stop speaking to me and cut me off completely because they don’t like what I do or say. People who can understand that having bipolar disorder doesn’t make me a bad person, doesn’t mean I don’t have the same feelings and emotions they have but just need a little bit more consideration and caring sometimes.
I want to have people in my life who don’t mind when I tell them I love them, who aren’t afraid of that. I want to be able to trust people again, instead of fearing getting hurt when they walk away from me.
I want to live with a family that doesn’t throw their crap all over any horizontal surface in the house I’ve just managed to get clean.
I want to be able to sleep at night without being in pain, without lying next to someone who is snoring away in oblivion, not even knowing or caring that I haven’t slept in two nights.
I want to have a friend I can call at 4 in the morning when there’s nobody around who understands me.
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